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What Santa Claus (Probably) Left a Few NBA Superstars

 

 

I sent a few of my elves around to homes of NBA players, coaches and owners to see how they did when it comes to presents left by Santa Claus. I always love to see what other people receive, including some who really don't deserve anything. Without any further adieu, here is what my elves reported back to me.

Russell Westbrook – The All-Star spot that he has deserved for a couple of seasons now.

Kevin Durant – Many more accolades to go along with his league scoring trophy from last season. Most notably, an MVP and NBA title. No pressure, though.

Gilbert Arenas – This made more sense before the big trade, but I thought the Wizards could have switched their team name back to the Bullets so that his little dance routines could better fit in with the team. I have no suggestions for the Magic.

Ah, a classic image for so many NBA stars.

Carmelo Anthony – A trade to the tri-state area to cure his homesickness. Whatever gets him out of the Western Conference would suffice.

Chris Bosh – An official release from his duties of carrying around all of LeBron James’ and Dwayne Wade’s bags on their road trips. You’re better than that, Chris.

Kevin Garnett & Joakim Noah – Couples counseling. Can’t they all just get along?

Chris Paul – A new “strategy” to force a trade out of New Orleans. His last one didn’t seem to work.

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LeBron James – The ability to take some of the media attention off of him and his teammates instead of constantly doing things that attract even more negative attention.

Mark Cuban – Self-promotion skills. Seriously, have you ever met a more humble man?

Dick Bavetta – Gloves so that your hands don’t hurt as much from calling all of those technical’s.

Michael Jordan – “How to Run an NBA Franchise for Dummies.” He seems to be reading Isaiah Thomas’ version right now, and it’s not working for him.

Antawn Jamison – The chance to team with LeBron James again and get as far away from Cleveland as possible.

Raymond Felton – Exactly what he is getting now – a chance to be himself and help run an offense in New York.

Blake Griffin – Early free agency so he can depart from the Clippers like every star who played there before him.

New Jersey Nets – An immediate move to Brooklyn so that they can start luring in some marquee free agents.

Happy New Year!

 

 

By Rob Kelley
Pro Basketball Fans Miami Heat Correspondent
* Make sure to follow Kelley on Twitter @RobKelley24 for all of the latest news regarding the Miami Heat and the rest of the world in sports.


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