What Santa Claus (Probably) Left a Few NBA Superstars
I sent a few of my elves around to homes of NBA players, coaches and owners to see how they did when it comes to presents left by Santa Claus. I always love to see what other people receive, including some who really don't deserve anything. Without any further adieu, here is what my elves reported back to me.
Russell Westbrook – The All-Star spot that he has deserved for a couple of seasons now.
Kevin Durant – Many more accolades to go along with his league scoring trophy from last season. Most notably, an MVP and NBA title. No pressure, though.
Gilbert Arenas – This made more sense before the big trade, but I thought the Wizards could have switched their team name back to the Bullets so that his little dance routines could better fit in with the team. I have no suggestions for the Magic.
Ah, a classic image for so many NBA stars.
Carmelo Anthony – A trade to the tri-state area to cure his homesickness. Whatever gets him out of the Western Conference would suffice.
Chris Bosh – An official release from his duties of carrying around all of LeBron James’ and Dwayne Wade’s bags on their road trips. You’re better than that, Chris.
Kevin Garnett & Joakim Noah – Couples counseling. Can’t they all just get along?
Chris Paul – A new “strategy” to force a trade out of New Orleans. His last one didn’t seem to work.
LeBron James – The ability to take some of the media attention off of him and his teammates instead of constantly doing things that attract even more negative attention.
Mark Cuban – Self-promotion skills. Seriously, have you ever met a more humble man?
Dick Bavetta – Gloves so that your hands don’t hurt as much from calling all of those technical’s.
Michael Jordan – “How to Run an NBA Franchise for Dummies.” He seems to be reading Isaiah Thomas’ version right now, and it’s not working for him.
Antawn Jamison – The chance to team with LeBron James again and get as far away from Cleveland as possible.
Raymond Felton – Exactly what he is getting now – a chance to be himself and help run an offense in New York.
Blake Griffin – Early free agency so he can depart from the Clippers like every star who played there before him.
New Jersey Nets – An immediate move to Brooklyn so that they can start luring in some marquee free agents.
Happy New Year!
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